Politics Are Making Me Jaded

I'm taking a giant step back from politics. It may seem strange to do that on today of all days but it really came home to me today that politics are making me jaded. When I can no longer see the good in this country or find ANYTHING to celebrate about it on a day like today, it's time to take a step back. I've become entirely too jaded and no longer see the world the way I always have and the way I still want to.

I've always been a believer that there is more good than bad in the world. And that at their core, most people want to live in harmony with others. I've always believed it's only fear and misunderstanding that keeps that from happening. I've thought that if we could just find a way to eliminate that fear and if people could truly get to know someone who is "different" they'd see that they aren't actually so different after all. I've believed that this country is made up of good people who just want what they see as best for the country. And even if we don't agree on what we think is best, we can still respect each other and find a way to work together.

I'm finding it more and more difficult all the time to continue to believe any of that. I've seen a country so divided we would rather harm the country as a whole than let the other side gain an inch. I've seen people I always respected turn into bigots so full of fear and hate for people who are different that they grasp at straws to try and justify it. I'm starting to think people don't really want to live in harmony. That it's more than just fear and misunderstanding, they WANT to hate those who are different and will actively search out reasons to do so.

All of this is not only affecting my world view but my writing as well. I'm finding it hard to connect with my inner child. To find the innocence and wonder I used to see in the world and that carried over into my writing. I find that I'm being drawn to darker fiction (which isn't a bad thing for someone else but it is for me) where evil triumphs over good instead of the other way around. I'm finding it hard to write about characters with good in them. And that makes me sad.

I've been told I lived in a fantasy world before and that now I'm seeing things the way they truly are. I sure hope not. I hope the world is closer to the way I used to imagine it and that I've just become jaded and cynical and it has colored my perception. But even if the other was a fantasy world, I like it much better. And I'm going to try and get it back.

A good first step seems to be ignoring politics. I'll still support equality and fairness for everyone because it's not in my nature to do anything else but that's the extent of my political involvement for now. I'm going to search for the good I used to see in the world and try to ignore the bad until my perspective becomes more balanced.