Politics Are Making Me Jaded

I'm taking a giant step back from politics. It may seem strange to do that on today of all days but it really came home to me today that politics are making me jaded. When I can no longer see the good in this country or find ANYTHING to celebrate about it on a day like today, it's time to take a step back. I've become entirely too jaded and no longer see the world the way I always have and the way I still want to.

I've always been a believer that there is more good than bad in the world. And that at their core, most people want to live in harmony with others. I've always believed it's only fear and misunderstanding that keeps that from happening. I've thought that if we could just find a way to eliminate that fear and if people could truly get to know someone who is "different" they'd see that they aren't actually so different after all. I've believed that this country is made up of good people who just want what they see as best for the country. And even if we don't agree on what we think is best, we can still respect each other and find a way to work together.

I'm finding it more and more difficult all the time to continue to believe any of that. I've seen a country so divided we would rather harm the country as a whole than let the other side gain an inch. I've seen people I always respected turn into bigots so full of fear and hate for people who are different that they grasp at straws to try and justify it. I'm starting to think people don't really want to live in harmony. That it's more than just fear and misunderstanding, they WANT to hate those who are different and will actively search out reasons to do so.

All of this is not only affecting my world view but my writing as well. I'm finding it hard to connect with my inner child. To find the innocence and wonder I used to see in the world and that carried over into my writing. I find that I'm being drawn to darker fiction (which isn't a bad thing for someone else but it is for me) where evil triumphs over good instead of the other way around. I'm finding it hard to write about characters with good in them. And that makes me sad.

I've been told I lived in a fantasy world before and that now I'm seeing things the way they truly are. I sure hope not. I hope the world is closer to the way I used to imagine it and that I've just become jaded and cynical and it has colored my perception. But even if the other was a fantasy world, I like it much better. And I'm going to try and get it back.

A good first step seems to be ignoring politics. I'll still support equality and fairness for everyone because it's not in my nature to do anything else but that's the extent of my political involvement for now. I'm going to search for the good I used to see in the world and try to ignore the bad until my perspective becomes more balanced.

Sexy VS Sex objects

Yesterday I was reading about the sexism that exists toward female authors in the Sci Fi/Fantasy genre. It got me thinking about a related issue... the sexualization of female characters in many of those books. We all know that sex sells. That's the basis of a lot (and maybe even most) of the advertisements out there. And it works.

To some degree that applies to book covers as well. Especially Sci Fi/Fantasy books. How many books have we seen with scantily (and impractically) dressed women on the covers? The chain mail bikini has been a staple of fantasy art for generations. Those bikini clad women are sexy. Or are they? Are they actually strong sexy women or are they women being objectified and turned into NOTHING more than fodder for male fantasy?

And it's not just the covers either. The female characters in many of those books are either the "damsel in distress" who just stands there and screams or the warrior woman in the chain mail bikini. At least the bikini wearing warriors do something. At least they fight. But are they well rounded sexy characters or just cookie cutter sex objects?

I suspect it's the second one in most cases. Any female character who doesn't have enough sense to put on more than a chain mail bikini before she goes out to fight the bad guys is likely nothing more than eye candy. An intelligent female would know she needs to protect more than just her "assets" if she wants to survive. Hell, she doesn't even have to be all that intelligent to figure it out. If she has two brain cells to rub together, she knows fighting in a bikini is not usually the best idea. There's a lot of exposed flesh to get damaged.

Which brings me to my point... we can create strong intelligent female characters that are ALSO sexy without objectifying them. Sexy doesn't have to equal sex object. But unfortunately too many people don't see the difference.

There's nothing wrong with a female who is confident in herself and enjoys sex. There's nothing wrong with her showing off what she was given to it's best advantage. And there's nothing wrong with making her sexy. As long as that's not ALL there is to her. As long as sexy is just one aspect of the character not the entire basis for her existence.

There could even be an occasion when a strong female character might wear one of those chain mail bikinis. Maybe it's part of her plan to distract the males she's going into battle against. Maybe she weighs the danger of not being protected against the distraction she would cause and CHOOSES the chain mail bikini. The difference in that character and the majority of the bikini clad vixens in Fantasy books is SHE (the character) chose it as part of the story. There is more to her personality than just that bikini. It wasn't forced on her by an author who didn't write her as anything more than that. See the difference?

We, as authors, need to be aware of the messages we send. Even if we don't intend to. Even if we are writing a story just to entertain and have no underlying message to convey, our readers are still receiving messages from our work. We need to make sure those messages are the right ones. And even though the majority of female warriors in modern fantasy no longer wear the famous chain mail bikini many of them wear some kind of modern equivalent. They are still portrayed as mostly sex objects. If all of our female characters are either helpless maidens or sex objects, what are we saying to our readers? What message are we giving them about women?

This is even more important for those of us who write for Young Adults. Our target audience is at an impressionable age. Without realizing it we could be shaping their perspectives of the world around them. That's a pretty big responsibility. Don't we owe it to our readers to make sure what they take away from our books is positive? Don't we owe it to them to create strong female characters who are more than just their looks or their bodies? Don't we owe it to SOCIETY to help break the stereotypes about females instead of reinforcing the idea that women only fit into two categories? I think so. And one of the best ways to do that is to write about strong well rounded females who break the mold.

If you build it... err... BLOG IT... they will come?

I've wanted to get serious about blogging for a while and every so often I'll start blogging with frequency. But I quickly get frustrated and bored. There doesn't seem to be much point in blogging when I'm the only person reading it. I know my thoughts, I don't need to write them down for me. :P

I had a very active blog on MySpace once upon a time. It had a lot of readers but better than that, it had a lot of people who participated in the discussions. I loved hearing so many different points of view. But it was also mostly political which is not the kind of blog I'm still interested in having.

I still want to have the discussions, sometimes maybe even on controversial subjects (ie: sex in YA books, violence in video games, etc), but not of a political nature. I want thoughtful discussions where people exchange ideas not heated debates. I still want to hear the opinions of a variety of people, I'd just rather it be on ideas and concepts (fairness, peace, love, bullying, intolerance, etc) rather than political issues. I'd like it to be on things that inspire people to think about something in a different way or open their mind to another perspective rather than divide as politics often does.

So I guess the question is how do you get people interested? How do you get people to visit and contribute to the discussions? And the contributing part is very important to me. I don't just want my opinions and thoughts to be read, I want to hear what other people think as well.

I've heard people say that if you just start blogging on a regular basis you will get readers but is that true? Is it really just a matter of building it and they will come? Isn't there more to it than that?

So if you have any ideas, tips, or tricks to get readers and contributors to visit, please pass them along. I'd love to hear them. I really would love to turn this blog into a place where ideas, thoughts, and inspiration flows. I'm just not sure how to go about it.

Struggling With My Decision To Be A Writer

UPDATE: It turns out this was much ado about nothing. I was worried about not being there for my family but it turns out they don't actually NEED me as much as they are just used to having me available. With a family this large, there is always drama of some kind on any given day. But little of it is actually an emergency that needs my attention and can't be put off until I finish writing for the day. Especially considering most of them are grown now.

That November was just one of those rare times when a bunch of them were having problems at the same time. And since they were all used to me dropping everything to listen and offer advice, they didn't think about how it was interrupting my writing. But once I spoke to them about it they understood. It took awhile (and numerous reminders for some) to get them used to the idea but it's working now.

As for the RA/Fibro flare ups, I'm learning to work around that too. I have the dragon software and I'm in the process of training it to understand my southern accent. Now, even on a bad pain day I can still write.

So yeah, it turns out I was being a drama queen and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. It looks like I CAN have it all. I just had to learn how to set boundaries.

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I'm not going to finish the 50,000 words for NaNo this month. I'm not even close to finishing. There has just been too many things that came up. I could have done it if I had made that a priority over my family.

But that's got me thinking. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a professional writer. Being a pro will mean meeting deadlines and it won't matter how much my family needed me or how bad my RA and Fibro was acting up. There can be no excuses when agents and publishers are counting on you to deliver.

And I knew that this month when I made the decisions to stop writing and be there for the various family members who needed my help. But I couldn't do anything else, not and be the person I am. I don't have it in me to say "I'm sorry you're (worried/upset/whatever) but I can't (help/listen/whatever) right now. I have a deadline to meet."

Maybe some people can stop the creative process for 30 minutes to an hour and go right back to it but I'm not one of them. After talking to a loved one who is upset, worried, or stressed out for a while, I usually am too. I feel their pain and stress and I can't easily get rid of it. And that makes it hard to clear my head and get back into creative mode to write. It doesn't help either that being upset or stressed, leads to a pain flare up (because of the RA and Fibro) for me. And pain also makes it difficult to write, not to mention the swollen wrists and fingers that comes with a flare up.

So here I sit, wondering if I've made the right decision to pursue a career in writing. Is there a balance and I'm just not finding it between writing and family? Is there some trick I don't know that can help me get back in creative mode easily? Some trick to help clear my mind?

I don't know. But I know being a writer feels right to me. Nothing else has ever called to me like this does. Except helping people who are upset or in trouble.

I've never been able to walk away from someone upset, even a stranger. So I know I don't have it in me to walk away from family when they're upset.

I've been blessed and haven't "needed" a job in sixteen years. So I've been able to walk away when there was a family/work conflict. I've been able to put family first in everything. And there was never a question if I was making the right choice. None of those jobs mattered to me. But writing does.

I don't think I'll ever stop writing whether I pursue a career out of it or not. I'll always write. But seeing my books on the shelves of Barnes and Noble one day has become important to me. In a way I didn't expect. And yet, I don't want that at the expense of being there for my family.

So here I sit, wondering about my decisions and trying to figure out a way to have my cake and eat it too.

Legends/Stories- Lost In Dreams (WIP)

LOST IN DREAMS was inspired by some local legends and stories. Of course, I took some artistic liberty with the stories and changed a few things, mostly the setting. I made all of them take place on one island instead of scattered throughout the area.

The island I chose for my setting is Beacon Island. It's a small island in the Pamlico Sound about 2 miles from Ocracoke Island. Most of Beacon Island is underwater at this time. Only a small section still stands and is a Brown Pelican Sanctuary.

In my story, the entire island still stands (the witches who live there kept it from sinking below the waves) and it's where the Croatoan Indian Tribe made their home. It is also where the Lost Colony Settlers went after they left Roanoke Island. The locations in the following legends and stories have been moved so that they all took place on Beacon Island.

Virginia Dare- The White Doe
Virginia Dare grew up among the Croatoan Indian Tribe to be a beautiful young woman. The shaman of the tribe, Chicamacomico (Chica) became infatuated with her. But Virginia loved another, a young warrior named Okisko. Chica grew jealous and decided if he couldn't have her, no one would. So he cast a spell on her, turning her into a pure white doe. Wanchese, the leader of the Roanoke Tribe, saw the white doe and wanted the skin. He offered a generous reward to anyone who would bring it to him. Warriors from many local tribes began to hunt the deer. Okisko, scared someone would harm his beloved, went to the shaman of the neighboring Chowanoke tribe to ask for help. The Chowanoke shaman was unable to change Virginia back but he gave Okisko the means to protect her. See, the red wolf was plentiful in this area in those days and the local Indians saw it as sacred. It would bring bad luck on your family for generations to harm a red wolf. So the shaman allowed Okisko to turn into a red wolf (but left his human soul inside him so he would continue to think as himself). When the hunters found the pure white deer, a red wolf was with her. It was standing so close to the deer, the hunters were afraid to take a shot for fear of hitting the wolf by accident. For many years, whenever the white doe would be seen, a red wolf would be seen as well. Always standing over the doe as if protecting her.

The Dismal Swamp Witch- Version 1
A powerful witch once lived in the Dismal Swamp. As often happens, the townsfolk were scared of her. After a particularly bad year, they decided that she was the cause and they went into the swamp to kill her. Their dogs chased her through the swamp for 3 days. Finally, exhausted she stopped to rest on an island in the middle of the swamp. She heard the dogs coming and knew she could no longer out run them, so she used the last of her strength and her magic to turn herself into a Cypress tree. When the townsfolk found the dogs circling an old tree, they gave up the chase and went home. The witch was never seen again but to this day an old Cypress tree stands on an island in the middle of the Dismal Swamp.

The Dismal Swamp Witch- Version 2 (usually told around a campfire in the Dismal Swamp)
Other's tell the story a little different. They say that the real story is that an evil shaman/magician was using his magic to lure the people in the area to him so he could use them as human sacrifices to expand his power. A good witch named Elizabeth (some say a relative or descendant of Virginia Dare) went out to the swamp to fight him. They battled but he was too strong for her to defeat so she used the last of her power to lock both of them into the old Cypress tree. The story says that one day, her magic will weaken and they will be released. According to the story, we’ll know the time is coming when her magic will fail when the wolves return to the area. (Usually during this story, someone is hiding in the woods with a tape recording of wolves howling and they play it at the end and the storyteller says something like “oh no, did you hear that? Her magic must be weakening. The evil shaman

could get loose tonight and kill us all in our sleep”)

Those are the 3 stories I mostly drew inspiration from for LOST IN DREAMS. A few other local stories and legends influenced it as well but these are the main ones that helped form the backstory and history of Beacon Island and the people who live there.

Lost In Dreams Main Characters (My WIP)

                 The Main Characters From Lost In Dreams

Ellissa: A 16 year old girl who moves back to the island of her birth after her mom dies. She finds a letter suggesting that her parents were planning to leave the island right before her dad died in order to keep her safe. Safe from what, she has no idea. But her mom did move them away right after her father's funeral and refused to come back. Even for a visit. Ellissa's grandfather, who is giving her the love and attention her mom never gave her, wants her to "carry on the family legacy" and become a witch hunter. There's just one problem, Ellissa is a witch herself. Although, a very reluctant witch. Ellissa hates everything to do with magic and the occult. Occult research is what kept her mom away from home and left Ellissa to take care of her brother and sister all the years they were away from the island. But when Ellissa has one of her "true dreams" and sees her brother and sister killed by magic in the future, she has no choice but to learn enough magic to keep them safe. In order to do this, she has to ask the one boy she's trying to avoid for help. Her feelings for Caleb scare her. They are too strong and too intense. So asking him for help is the last thing she wants to do. But she'll risk anything to save her brother and sister, even her heart.

Caleb: A 17 year old boy whose ancestors date back to the Croatoan Indian Tribe who lived on the island before the first colonists arrived in the new world. He's been raised on stories about an evil shaman who 400 years ago used mind magic to lure the people of the island into becoming human sacrifices. A powerful witch, with the help of a young Indian warrior, cast a spell to lock the shaman's spirit in a tree. But the spell holding him will only last 200 years and then the witch and the warrior have to be reborn to renew it. It's almost time to renew the spell for the 2nd time and somewhere the witch and warrior have been reborn. Caleb's people are on a search to discover who it is. When Ellissa asks him for help, he jumps at the chance. His attraction to her is strong and anything that helps him get to know her better is a good thing in his eyes. He has no idea how much his loyalty to his people is about to be tested.

Being Me... ALL of me

This is a re-post from my old blog in 2010 but It's just as important today as it was then. And frankly, I need the reminder. I have found myself slipping back into the old pattern of losing myself in only one aspect of my personality and forgetting to nourish the others.



I AM- My Personal Collage


Here is the original blog entry:


I'm not just a mom, or just a writer, or just an artist. I'm all of those things and much more. But sometimes I get so caught up in being ONE of them that I forget to be the others. My life gets out of balance and I start to forget who I really am.

And that balance is really important. It makes me a better mom, a better writer, a better artist... a better everything.

If all I ever do is write, what will I write about? What will give me inspiration? You have to experience life to write about it.

If all I ever do are mom things, I'll start to feel overwhelmed and under appreciated. I'll become grouchy. And a grouchy me... well, that's not good for anyone.

But the balance, when I manage to keep it balanced, makes for a happier me. And that makes me a better mom, writer, artist, everything.

So I guess the question is... How am I going to keep my life balanced? How am I going to be ME... ALL of ME?

To be honest, I'm not completely sure. But the first step is to remind myself of who I am. All the different facets of my personality.

At a writing conference I attended, one of the presenters suggested making a character collage to help remind you of all the facets of your character's personality so they don't become flat cookie cutter characters. I figured if it would work with characters, maybe it'll work for me too.

Because let's face it, I feel like I've become a flat cookie cutter character lately. And who wants that? It makes for boring characters and it makes for a boring Kim too.

So I made a Kimber Collage. You can see it above. It has all the different facets of my personality included. Maybe even some that'll surprise you.

I'm going to hang that picture up near my computer as a reminder to myself to keep being me... ALL of me.



UPDATE: This picture never made up on my wall. My computer USB ports failed (ALL of them if you can believe that- what are the odds of that happening) and my printer will no longer work so it's never been printed. Hopefully, soon I'll be able to afford a new computer and can hang this up where I'll see it every day.

You can read the original entry/see the original comments HERE.